Funny how your dreams and goals go through highs and lows. Life in general I suppose.
It all starts when you’re young and you think every disappointment is absolutely the worst you’ll ever have. You can still hear your twelve or fifteen year old self whining “Doesn’t she (mom/sister/friend) know that this is just the end?!” But it isn’t. It never ends. And I don’t necessarily mean that in the “life is a bitch and then you die” kind of way. I’m not actually a pessimist but it is true that there will always be sad times and bad times and times you think you have reached your lowest point possible.
Chris Rea – and then Elkie Brooks – says it best
Fool if you think it’s over
I’ll buy you first good wine
We’ll have a real good time
Save your cryin’ for the day
That may not come
But anyone who had to pay
Would laugh at you and say
Fool, if you think it’s over
Yup, some things just do get worse. But then, they also get better. All a bit trite to say life is a roller coaster but I have noticed just how much this is true in the last seven years or so since I started keeping a diary again. At the end of every year I look back over it and I am stunned to see just how much has happened. If someone offered to pay you to predict events in the year ahead, you’d think it’d be money for jam, wouldn’t you? Not so I’ve discovered.
One year, I bought a new house, sold an old one, got a new car, broke up and made up, had serious illness in my family, had an unforgettable holiday and continued living and working at the same time. All unplanned. How is that possible? So now, every time I get one of my “this is the end” kind of days (or most often, nights) I try and remember that something better will happen, sometime.
It won’t be over but it may just be balanced by something good.
And then again ... 