Often in interviews you hear someone asking “who has influenced you most in your life?” “Who helped you become what you are today?” Presumably this is because there are all sorts of people out there who led vague and undefined lives, wandering aimless and unsatisfied because they weren’t sure what it is they were ‘meant’ to be doing. That is, until that special someone was able to point them in the right direction, after which they would forge ahead resolutely pursuing what it is that they were born to do.
I regret that I have obviously never met that someone. I have on the other hand met a number of people who seemed determined to make me not enjoy what I already knew I enjoyed doing! University was a perfect example. I loved English, love English (why a blog if I don’t like writing?!). So I majored in it. Big mistake. Just like Julia Roberts said in ’Pretty Woman’ – “Big mistake. Big. Huge.”
My lecturer for the whole of first year gloried in making us hate him and his lectures. Tutorials were hell to sit through. He insulted everyone and said he would prefer it if we didn’t talk at all. No-one did a thing. I doubt if anyone believed us. I did my big project on Ted Hughes and at the end, got back a ‘marked’ essay with only one word written down the side – Crap! How is that helpful? It may well have been but some indication of how or why would have been useful.
Years later I married an Economics lecturer and as fate would have it, he returned to teach at my alma mater. One night at a party I came into the kitchen – where else did groups gather at parties in the seventies? – to hear my old lecturer pouring forth pearls of wisdom about how he ‘maintained control’ in his class. Turns out he always wore a tweed jacket, never went without a tie and carried a pipe to indicate that he meant business and that students should pay him due deference. Apparently inspiring students and helping them to enjoy what they thought they would like to enjoy, doesn’t curry the same favour nor bring the kudos you so deserve!
School wasn’t any better. Maths, Latin, History … All done under duress. Drama on the other hand was great – would I be allowed to say that the person who affected me most while growing up was Elizabeth in Pride and Prejudice?
In the end, I think it’s bits and pieces from all sorts of people that affect one the most. Wonderful stories about growing up from my dad. Memories of how my mother copied with a debilitating disease. Friends who laughed and cried with you as you grew up. Family who can tell you straight out that you’re a pain or who can tell others that the best person in the world is you, their sister. Plays I’ve gone to, music I’ve listened to, books I’ve read and places I’ve been. There is definitely not one person who has ‘made’ me – and anyway, who says I’m quite done yet?
And then again ... 