Is there any woman who hasn’t air pumped at least once when this has started playing? How many times have groups of women swayed to the music, waving their arms in the air, or looked across at another woman while singing and grinned? Conspirators. All understanding just what it is like to wish you’d kicked the bastard out for good at the beginning.
Or maybe not the bastard. Maybe just the person who has brought you more heartbreak than joy. Or perhaps lots of joy but heartbreak too. Who knows and really, does it matter? There will always be that one person that you heave a sigh of relief to see the back of.
And of course, wish that you’d managed to deal with sooner. I have had the feeling often, to different degrees and in different situations. In the work place where I have walked the three sides of a square to avoid seeing someone just down the passage in the office just before the one I need to get to. At a party when I’ve been cornered by the very person I didn’t want to see, and who has positioned himself right by the fridge. Walking down a street, crossing the road to avoid someone, or in a supermarket where you cringe when you hear your name trilled across the aisles.
And even at home. Much as you love your nearest and dearest, don’t tell me you want to see them every day. Or at least, all day. And worse, what if your nearest and dearest are no longer quite so near and dear? Relationships start so well. We have such high hopes and then something starts to niggle. That old story about where do you squeeze a tube of toothpaste and does it matter? Well, yes it does.
Not necessarily the toothpaste, but small things become big things. The trick is of course to notice and to do something about their growth. But we’re not very good at that. Instead, lots of small things begin to add up and all of a sudden, the size of what’s wrong is overwhelming. It doesn’t seem possible to fix and often, you no longer have the will to fix it anyway.
Sometimes the heartbreak is much more sudden and you don’t see it coming. Your perfect becomes imperfect with the sweep of someone else’s stroke and you can’t believe it’s over.
At first I was afraid I was petrified
Thinking I couldn’t live without you by my side
But just like the song, we do get through it and often, get stronger on the other side
… I grew strong, and I learned how to get along
And now you’re back, from outer space
And I find you here with that sad look upon your face.
I should have changed that stupid lock
And made you leave your key …
And that’s the air pump place! You’ve done it.
The trick I suppose is to find someone who really likes you. Not just loves. It could be a friend, a colleague, a lover, a child, a partner. Don’t look for the perfect at all. Look for what is going to be good for you too. As a good friend once said to me “Be the star in your own movie!”
And then again ... 